EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- Self Awareness

 

Peak performers in every area of life know that external success is preceded by internal triumph. That is, you win inside of you before you win outside of you. Your feelings and thoughts must agree that high level of productivity and performance is possible before it will happen. Self awareness is very important because emotional intelligence begins from there.

To be effective in helping their organizations manage change, leaders first need to be aware of and manage their own feelings of anxiety and uncertainty (Bunker, 1997).

Self awareness demands intimate and accurate knowledge of one’s self and one’s emotions. It also demands understanding and predicting one’s emotional reactions to situations while being aware of one’s values and core beliefs and the impact and effect of compromising them.

To be self aware, ask yourself these three questions:

1.   Who am I?

2.   Where am I?

3.   What matters to me? (Sparrow, T. and Knight, A., 2006).

WHO AM I? The answer to this question defines your purpose. ‘Who you are’ is a question whose answer is a solution to a problem. Without asking yourself this question and properly answering it, you become the problem; which implies you cannot act in an emotionally intelligent manner because what you feel and think will produce results that will bring you on a collision course with the people around you, thereby stifling productivity.

WHERE AM I? Can a fish survive on land? Obviously it can’t because it is a fish. It is properly designed for where it should be- the water. Does where you are suit who you are? If it doesn’t, you’ll find it uncomfortable staying there, acting in an emotionally unintelligent manner and feeling generally irritable because square pegs fitted into round holes create friction, cracks and sometimes permanent damage.

WHAT MATTERS TO ME? What are your core values and beliefs, what are the things you cannot trade for all the money at the Central Bank?! Compromising on them will affect the way you feel, think and act.

Unfortunately, these are questions we seldom ask ourselves as some of us are content just gliding through life without control.

The process of asking yourself these questions could be quite a challenging task to carry out because it requires immense discipline which many of us are not used to. Yet, it is the most fulfilling and rewarding venture you’ll undertake because it is a process that introduces you to your true self and not the masquerade you pretend to be. Remember that you need an intimate and accurate knowledge of yourself to act in an emotionally intelligent way.

Identifying your highest meaning will enable you to realize your potential. And living through your meaning, purpose or potential facilitates a state of wellbeing, of experiencing being fully alive (Sparrow, T. and Knight, A., 2006).

In the next article I’ll discuss the emotional intelligence competence that comes after this-SELF MANAGEMENT.

Till then…

 

Be Inspired!

Remain Motivated!

 

REFERENCES

1.   Bunker, K. A. (1997). The Power of Vulnerability in Contemporary Leadership. Consulting Psychology Journal, 49(2). Quoted in Cherniss, C. and Goleman, D. (2001). The Emotionally Intelligent Workplace. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

2.   Cherniss, C. and Goleman, D. (2001). The Emotionally Intelligent Workplace. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

3.   Deutschendorf, H. (2009). The Other Kind of Smart. New York: AMACOM.

4.   Lynn, A. (2000). 50 Activities for Developing Emotional Intelligence. Amherst: HRD Press.

5.   Sparrow, T. and Knight, A. (2006) Applied Emotional Intelligence- The Importance of Attitudes in Developing Emotional Intelligence. England: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.