EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- Self Awareness

 

Peak performers in every area of life know that external success is preceded by internal triumph. That is, you win inside of you before you win outside of you. Your feelings and thoughts must agree that high level of productivity and performance is possible before it will happen. Self awareness is very important because emotional intelligence begins from there.

To be effective in helping their organizations manage change, leaders first need to be aware of and manage their own feelings of anxiety and uncertainty (Bunker, 1997).

Self awareness demands intimate and accurate knowledge of one’s self and one’s emotions. It also demands understanding and predicting one’s emotional reactions to situations while being aware of one’s values and core beliefs and the impact and effect of compromising them.

To be self aware, ask yourself these three questions:

1.   Who am I?

2.   Where am I?

3.   What matters to me? (Sparrow, T. and Knight, A., 2006).

WHO AM I? The answer to this question defines your purpose. ‘Who you are’ is a question whose answer is a solution to a problem. Without asking yourself this question and properly answering it, you become the problem; which implies you cannot act in an emotionally intelligent manner because what you feel and think will produce results that will bring you on a collision course with the people around you, thereby stifling productivity.

WHERE AM I? Can a fish survive on land? Obviously it can’t because it is a fish. It is properly designed for where it should be- the water. Does where you are suit who you are? If it doesn’t, you’ll find it uncomfortable staying there, acting in an emotionally unintelligent manner and feeling generally irritable because square pegs fitted into round holes create friction, cracks and sometimes permanent damage.

WHAT MATTERS TO ME? What are your core values and beliefs, what are the things you cannot trade for all the money at the Central Bank?! Compromising on them will affect the way you feel, think and act.

Unfortunately, these are questions we seldom ask ourselves as some of us are content just gliding through life without control.

The process of asking yourself these questions could be quite a challenging task to carry out because it requires immense discipline which many of us are not used to. Yet, it is the most fulfilling and rewarding venture you’ll undertake because it is a process that introduces you to your true self and not the masquerade you pretend to be. Remember that you need an intimate and accurate knowledge of yourself to act in an emotionally intelligent way.

Identifying your highest meaning will enable you to realize your potential. And living through your meaning, purpose or potential facilitates a state of wellbeing, of experiencing being fully alive (Sparrow, T. and Knight, A., 2006).

In the next article I’ll discuss the emotional intelligence competence that comes after this-SELF MANAGEMENT.

Till then…

 

Be Inspired!

Remain Motivated!

 

REFERENCES

1.   Bunker, K. A. (1997). The Power of Vulnerability in Contemporary Leadership. Consulting Psychology Journal, 49(2). Quoted in Cherniss, C. and Goleman, D. (2001). The Emotionally Intelligent Workplace. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

2.   Cherniss, C. and Goleman, D. (2001). The Emotionally Intelligent Workplace. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

3.   Deutschendorf, H. (2009). The Other Kind of Smart. New York: AMACOM.

4.   Lynn, A. (2000). 50 Activities for Developing Emotional Intelligence. Amherst: HRD Press.

5.   Sparrow, T. and Knight, A. (2006) Applied Emotional Intelligence- The Importance of Attitudes in Developing Emotional Intelligence. England: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- Beyond IQ

Do you take pride in having a very powerful cognitive ability or IQ? You find that ‘A’ students are usually the superstars on campus. Being able to think problems through and provide solutions gives you an air of importance and makes you highly sought after. Of course you have the right to brag about your ability to think and produce results but the extent to which your usefulness can be sustained goes beyond your IQ. Peak performers consistently incorporate feeling into their thinking and doing.

In essence, beyond being able to pass your tests and exams and being able to apply your cognitive or brain power in school or workplace and perceived as SMART, there is another kind of SMART that is a major determinant of performance and productivity.

It is so important that organizations are spending a lot to educate its members about it. Leaders and all those interested in peak performance are paying very close attention to it because it might proof to be the difference between where they are and where they hope to be. This other kind of SMART is called EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI).

John is the guy to run to if you have any problem in the office. His technical ability on the job is spot-on and this has earned him very rapid ascent in his career. But one day he did a favour for a colleague in the customer services section of the organization who didn’t say ‘thank you’ (it has always been the norm for those who get help from him to recognize and appreciate it and it brings him immense satisfaction and personal pride). This ‘act of ingratitude’ infuriated John who stormed to her office and demanded to be appreciated. His co-worker found it unusual that John was demanding to be recognized for a favour he did for her. As far as she was concerned, he was only doing his job. She didn’t yield to his demands. This set off a chain of verbal vituperation on her from John in the presence of other colleagues and clients. She didn’t take it lightly and promptly reported the ugly incidence to management. John has since been placed on suspension and it is looking very unlikely that he will be called back.

This is a scenario that is played out often in organizations. John could have been a very competent technical person but he fell flat on emotional intelligence and this cost him his job. His colleague also displayed gross emotional incapacity.

Emotional intelligence is the habitual practice of:

·      using emotional information from ourselves and other people;

·      integrating this with our thinking;

·      using this to inform our decision making to help us get what we want from the immediate situation and from life in general.

To act in an emotionally intelligent way as specified above, you must fulfill the following criteria:

a)   You must be self-aware. Self-awareness helps you become effective in SELF-MANAGEMENT.

b)  You must also be socially-aware i.e. aware of other people. This helps you become effective in RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT.

SELF-AWARENESS→SELF-MANAGEMENT→SOCIAL-AWARENESS→RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

Emotional intelligence is a huge body of knowledge that can’t be contained in one article. Not even in the month of February will I be able to do a complete analysis of it. But I’ll go as far as I can.

In the next article, I will talk about SELF-AWARENESS.

Be inspired!

Remain motivated!

Reference

Sparrow, T. and Knight, A. (2006) Applied Emotional Intelligence- The Importance of Attitudes in Developing Emotional Intelligence, John Wiley & Sons Ltd.