THE ESSENCE OF VALUES

A popular radio show caller and public commentator, who often refers to himself as a radio senator, Andrew Ajayi, has always advocated for value reorientation and character reformation as the panacea for the societal ills ravaging Nigeria as he participates in numerous call-in programmes in the country. I totally agree with him hence, I have decided to make them the crux of my blogs for the next couple of weeks because I’ve come to understand that we cannot build a life that will stand the test of time unless it is standing on strong values.

Values can be defined as broad preferences concerning appropriate courses of action or outcomes. As such, values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong or what “ought” to be. “Equal rights for all”, "Excellence deserves admiration", and “People should be treated with respect and dignity” are representative of values. Values tend to influence attitudes and behavior. For example, if you value equal rights for all and you go to work for an organization that treats its managers much better than it does its workers, you may form the attitude that the company is an unfair place to work; consequently, you may not produce well or may perhaps leave the company. It is likely that if the company had a more egalitarian policy, your attitude and behaviors would have been more positive.[1]

We cannot reach our goals and destinations as individuals and as a country without a road-map that is detailed and usable. But each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps…we simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.[2]

What are those factors that influence the values we form?

v The environment: our environment includes the place we live, the people we meet and interact with, the society at large and the effect they have on us. This is a factor very powerful in determining how we see the world. Prevailing environmental circumstances, re-enforced by our continued exposure to them while being unaware of any alternative will most certainly influence how we see the world.

v Childhood programming: some of our actions and inactions are controlled and limited by the coded instructions we’ve been carrying from childhood planted there by parents, teachers and every other person who has had a direct or indirect influence on us. They shape our perception and understanding of the way the world should be.

These two factors (and any you can point out by dropping a note below) contribute significantly to how we come to form our values.

Next week, I’ll talk about the values that I believe will help us build a fruitful life of positive contributions to self and community.

See you then, meanwhile,

Be inspired and

Remain motivated!

---

[1]wikipedia (online encyclopedia)

[2] Stephen R. Covey- 7 Habits of highly Effective People

GROW UP

I am often mortified when I watch the way young people like me enjoy growing old (as though they don’t know) without growing up. Personal development, self improvement and value addition are seen as archaic. Everybody is in a haste to get to the top but forget they’ll need a ladder to climb. Don’t be fooled young person, one day you’ll become a grandpa or grandma; your youthfulness will not last forever but the foundation you lay today for a life of relevance and impact will outlive you. While an eighty something Chinua Achebe was being buried like a national hero, some others like him have been abandoned in old people’s homes; a Wole Soyinka at seventy something is still as relevant today as he was in his days at the University while a Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu are regarded as national gods. These were people who took advantage of their youth to make themselves immortals. Most of their contemporaries are nonentities, rotting away in the oblivion of time; not regarded by family, friends or neighbours.  I am not writing this to make you apprehensive; I intend to help you answer one important question which is,

        ''what am I doing with my youthfulness?''

''Remember now thy creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them''- Eccl 12:1. Young people spend so much time decorating their bodies (which is not bad if sparingly done) than they do decorating their minds, thinking the body will last forever. Let me submit to you that the beauty on your body will fade if your body is confronted and challenged to take action but can’t by a rag-tag mind. Sophia Loren says ''there is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age'' because the body, no matter how active it is, does not appreciate; but the active mind does; though it won’t without a conscious effort from you. Look around you and you'll find that those who really grow up are those who keep developing and decorating their minds. As I mark my birthday today, I want to inform you that ''growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional''- Chili Davies. Few people choose the latter; I am one of them, are you?

Be inspired!

Remain motivated!

Picture credit: www.gettyimages.com

Let's talk about resolutions (Conclusion)

It is worth stating here that decision making is the process of “analyzing alternatives to reduce uncertainty about achieving a desired outcome”[1]. Decisions or resolutions are not taken because they are popular but because they are relevant. Decisions are taken after it has been identified that there is a problem that needs a solution. Hence the first step in making a resolution that will last is to recognize that there is a problem. Doing this will enable you sort out the mere symptoms from the real disease.

Having identified the problem, the next step is to look at the various ways the problem can be solved. All the alternatives should be on the desk, an African adage says that there are several roads that lead to the market yet the best way to get to the market might not be through the shortest route, but through the route that will have the best effect on you. Quick fixes as it characterize many resolutions made by people at the end or beginning of the year rarely fixes anything; in other words, the shortest route might not be the best route. They might work in solving the immediate cause(s) of a problem but won’t ameliorate the remote cause(s).

After comparing and contrasting the various alternatives to solving an identified problem, the next step is to make a choice out of all of them. Like I stated earlier, the choice of a particular solution should be predicated on its suitability to you and not just on its popularity.

You have identified a problem, lined up various ways you think the problem can be solved and have made a choice that is best for you; the next step (and perhaps the most difficult) is to implement the choice. It is often said that the problem with Nigeria is not a want of policies that have the potential of transforming the nation, but of implementing them. Same goes to us as individuals. The question now is, ‘how do we ensure that we implement and stick to a solution we have discovered to a problem plaguing us.

First you have to recognize that resolutions or decisions are made as remedies to problems in other to make progress[2]. You have to make the choice as to whether you want to make progress or remain where you are. If you choose the former, it must come with the understanding that progress is arrived at with sacrifices. In other words, progress is made by doing things differently from how they had hitherto been done.

On a final note, for your resolution to last beyond the first week of the year, you must base it on the principle of love. Why love? Love, because it helps you realize that the progress you seek for yourself will also help lift someone else from the valley where they are to the top of the hill where they aspire to. I usually tell myself that I must get better because someone needs my help to get better. By the way, sometimes as humans we find it extremely difficult and challenging to go through this process of decision making on our own. If you can’t go alone, let someone go with you- a friend, mentor, colleague, relative, counselor, etc. Live your life on a forward motion.

Until next time,

Be inspired!

Remain motivated!

N.B

My blogs haven’t been regular because internet facility where I am currently undergoing my one year mandatory national service is very epileptic. Please bear with me. My service year will end in the first week of October this year and I promise my blogs will be more regular then.

---

[1] Robert E. Dittmer, Stephanie Mcfarland,  151 Quick ideas for Delegating and Decision making.

[2] Robert E. Dittmer, Stephanie Mcfarland,  151 Quick ideas for Delegating and Decision making.             

RESOLUTIONS

Let’s talk about resolutions…

At this time of the year, it is very common to hear the word “Resolutions” being bandied about by all and sundry. Unfortunately, it is a beautiful chorus whose lines are forgotten almost as soon as it is remembered.

Before delving into reasons why resolutions fail, it is important to know what it is and why it still remains everyone’s best friend in the first few hours of the New Year.

A RESOLUTION is simply a decision, determination or resolve to deal with an identified challenge or problem.

Why is resolution still very popular?

a)   Everybody want to move further in life hence many feel that a resolution will serve as that driving force and of course it can, after all a resolution is a decision to deal with a challenge.

b)   ‘Resolution’ is what everybody does at the beginning of the year. In other not to have nothing to say when asked about mine, it is safer to just acquire one like everyone else.

c)   It is a shelter for those who are running away from the heat of a debilitating habit or obsession. Unfortunately to most of those people, it only serves as a temporary cover though having the potential for permanence.

d)   People think a resolution can serve as a short-cut to an envisaged end thus freeing them from the rigour and thoroughness of hard work. Definitely it can lead one to an expected end, yet it is not the short-cut people think it is.

Seeing then that there is nothing wrong with resolutions, what is wrong in its application that makes it die almost as soon as it is born?

Ø People ascribe resolutions to a particular time of the year (January 1^st) and a particular place (the church or mosque) thereby overlooking the time when a decision that would have led to an action being taken on an issue should have been appropriately taken hence reducing the potency and longevity of the resolution. Mind you, resolutions are not born with the coming of a new year, they are always with us to be taken and stood by all through time even NOW.

Ø Most people just sit down and without much pondering decide to do or not do something in a process they call resolution making without bearing in mind  that resolutions are decisions and decision making has a process. It is not something you just say, it is a goal scoring process that you set in motion.

Ø Just like a building with a faulty foundation collapses in no time, resolutions give way if they are not built on sound values. The values you hold are the building blocks upon which you can rest your resolutions without which it will be nothing but wishful thinking. This is the most important factor.

I will stop here for now and in the next article talk about:

·      The process of making a resolution (also known as decision making process)  and;

·      Values that can hold up a resolution.

Till then,

Have a great new year!

Be inspired!

Remain motivated!