Emotional Intelligence- Self Management

In the last article, we looked at self-awareness as an emotional intelligence competence. We saw that there are three questions you must answer to be on your way to self-awareness- who am i? Where am i? What matters to me? This is where it starts, and from here, we transit to self -management.

What does it mean to manage self?

Self-management is the ability to manage your emotions so they don’t become a stumbling block on your way to success. This ability will help you turn your emotion into an asset. Emotion wrongly handled can become a liability.

According to Sparrow, T. and Knight, A. (2006), you need the following for effective self-management:

     i.          Mood management

   ii.          Self-motivation

 iii.          Dealing with setbacks

 iv.          Using your intuition

   v.          Managing your energy

 vi.          Dealing with stress

vii.          Avoiding depression and addictive behaviour

Mood Management

Your mood is your conscious state of mind or predominant emotion (Marriam-Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus). If you have the mood that’s most productive for your work or other areas of your life, you feel like you are in control instead of being controlled. Feeling that sense of control improves your attitude towards your job and life in general.

Self-Motivation

This is a very useful tool in self-management. Since motivation is the ability to remain in motion, it is important to develop this competence. Utilizing the power and energy of one’s emotions leads to high motivation, and improves problem solving and decision making.

Dealing with setbacks

For effective self-management, you must be able to deal with those periods when there are backward movements instead of forward motion. Unless you have resigned to a state of hopelessness and utter helplessness, review the experience of the setback; learn what is supportive as you look into the future.

Using your intuition

Your intuition is that ability that comes to you once in a while for quick and ready insight. It is an ability that can be very useful when you have to make decisions on the spot or be creative. It is an ability you need for effective self-management.

Managing your energy

Energy sets things in motion and also halts things in motion. It creates and re-creates and can be an agent of destruction; interestingly, energy exists everywhere even in you. The implication of this is that with energy comes responsibility, that is, the ability to manage it for productivity and performance.

Dealing with stress

One way of looking at stress that I’ve come to appreciate a lot is by Dr Concorde’s definition of it using a formula. The formula is:

It can be interpreted to mean that stress arises when the demands on and within the human system exceed resources in any given timeframe. Struggling to deliver when clearly the demands on you is not up to your ability to deliver will create a dysfunction in your interior and exterior with dire consequences.

Avoiding depression and addictive behaviour

Depression hurts.  it’s  the  "black  dog"  of  the night that  robs you of  joy,  the  unquiet  mind that  keeps you  awake.  It’s a  noonday  demon  that  only  you  can  see,  the  darkness  visible  only to  you. A depressed person is emotionally unintelligent. He can harm himself or someone else. On the other hand, addiction, which is a close relative of depression, can be described as behaviour motivated by emotions that leads from cravings to compulsion and loss of control over behaviour. Imagine the things that could happen to one if one losses control over one’s behaviour.

These are the ingredients you need for self-management which is an emotional intelligence competence that comes after being self-aware.

Be inspired!

Remain Motivated!

Reference

Cafourek J. (2009) Breaking Free From Addiction. The Good News Magazine.

Caldwell S. and Gravett L. (2009) Using Your Emotional Intelligence To Develop Others. Palgrave Macmillan, New York.

Hornor N. (1998) Breaking Free From Addiction. The GoodNews Magazine.

Neale S. et al (2009) Emotional Intelligence Coaching: Improving performance for Leaders, Coaches and the Individual. Kogan Page, London.

Sparrow, T. and Knight, A. (2006) Applied Emotional Intelligence- The Importance of Attitudes in Developing Emotional Intelligence, John Wiley & Sons Ltd.

Schurman S. (2004) How to Stop Depression Now. Sursel Internet Marketing, LLC.

Stein S. (2009) Emotional Intelligence for Dummies. John Wiley and Sons, Canada

Williams M, et al (2007) The Mindful Way Through Depression. The Guilford Press, New York.